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Posted 30 March 2002, 1.19 am by Villager

This here is all you ever wanted to know about the Beautiful Game (sex).

Certainly not suitable for children.

Posted in nothing but the interests of AKpCEP's education.

Feeling Helpless

Posted 29 March 2002, 5.41 pm by Alexander

This is a reader submission from Alamias

When you spend a good portion of your life with someone, and then they leave you what should your reaction be? Should you be mad? Should you be sad? Should you feel like a failure or all of these things?

Well, from experience I can say you feel all of the above.

After those feelings all subside, you try to move on...but what happens when the person that left you calls for help all the time?

"I need $500 dollars or I am going to be evicted" was what was said to me a few minutes ago.

What do you do when the woman that rips out your heart calls you and asks for help. You think you would probably laugh at her, and tell her where to stick it right?

Where it not for the fact that this woman has your two children with her, I would agree with you. When the fact your two offspring are sharing in this mess that she has created for herself, you can't help but want to help...for their sake. You want the best for your kids, and you want to help them any way you can.

Except you don't have the money. There is nothing you can do. So now what?

Do you feel helpless? Do you say, "She made her bed, let her lie in it?"

It's a hard position to be in.

Some of you would say take the kids from her. To this I say I know that the kids are honestly better off with their mother.

Do you try to somehow raise the money, knowing there is no way you can?

Do you accept the fact that your ex and the kids might end up moving 3000 miles away to live with her parents, where they wouldn't have to worry about such matters, but then you wouldn't see your kids as often as you like? A tough reality to accept.

What do you do? There is no easy answer. All of them lead to feeling helpless in the situation. You want to help...but you can't. You want to be there for them...but you aren't able to be.

It's almost like watching a train approaching a stranded car on the tracks, knowing there are people inside, but you know you can't reach them in time...all in slow motion.

You see the outcome before it even happens...and there is nothing you can do to change it.

The greatest game in the world??

Posted 29 March 2002, 12.04 pm by Jake

Alright. You all remember the old classic Pong...sitting at the Atari with those annoying paddle controllers, listening to that monotonous "bonk....bonk.....bonk.....bonk". Well, this is pretty much the same, but in 3-D!!!! It gets pretty intense, but it's a good way to waste time whilst downloading porn.....
(Sorry for all of the ellipses, I haven't had any coffee yet.)


Posted 28 March 2002, 11.58 pm by Jake

He saw it. It soared around like an eagle, peaked, and began its menacing descent. His pulse began to race. His nerves pounded and screamed with adrenaline. "Goddamn it,"he said. Ignoring the angry shouts of his coworkers, he started to run. Down the stairs, out of the building, into the avenue. He was the only one there. The streets were deserted. Thoughts darted throughout his mind. "Why? Where? How?" Confusion and panic set in. "How I have?" He started to run again. Only this time, he ran toward it. He sprinted for miles. His muscles burned and his heart pumped gasoline. After a while, he collapsed to the asphalt in a gasping, heaving mess. His lungs seared and his senses kicked into overdrive. All the sights became clearer, the air thicker with the smell of coal. The concrete was more tangible, the atmosphere crackled with a maniacal static. He tasted the humidity as he lay there panting. It had stopped. It hovered over the city like a raincloud.

His pupils enlarged to seize the object of vision.

God Bless America

Posted 27 March 2002, 7.09 am by The_Roach

This is one of the most interesting pro-liberal websites I have ever encountered. Being a conservative republican who actually voted for Bush, I found this site to be extremely funny. While I'm not entirely alone in that, the majority of the people who have replied in their "Feedback" section are either confusing the above linked website with this one, or are equally as clever as the writers.

My money's on the former, by the way.

Forgetting Prehistory

Posted 26 March 2002, 8.00 pm by Jake

I was poring over Roach's newest and thought about the teaching of history in general. Prehistory is a topic that is largely ignored by many teachers. Even if they do teach anything about it, they only spend enough time on the subject to leave you with a vague grasp of what happened. I have no idea why they would treat this event as unimportant. Seeing how early mankind developed would be quite interesting, if you ask me. Maybe they just want to save all of that shit for when you go to college and take anthropology. Maybe it's just a gray area that nobody wants to cover because of evolution. Either way, most history classes seem to begin with the practice of agriculture in Mesopotamia, with little or no emphasis on prehistory. Go figure..
Just happens to be another one of those things that make you want to stomp, shout and scream in front of your local school board about their ignorance and neglect.


Posted 26 March 2002, 6.45 am by Berly

Three sites for your amusement, or not. I'm not sure exactly. Recommended by some of my artistically talentend friends, I give you:

Brittle Bones



"I believe in America. America's made my fortune."

Posted 25 March 2002, 7.48 pm by The_Roach

Some days I look upon the government that runs my country with blistering pride. Other days not so much. I wonder how many of my fellow countrymen feel the same way, curious to know about those people who would place the same blind faith in mortals as they do in God Almighty. Most of us, I can safely assume, know that they lie to us, tell us things that we want to hear to keep things simple and smooth. I am thankful for the lies they get away with, resentful towards the ones I know about.

We encourage our children to learn, to question things in society. Those who created our system of government wanted us to do this, I think. As far as I can tell, the framers of our Constitution had noble ideas regarding the way people should govern themselves, keeping away from tyranny and injustice. The road they paved with their good intentions may not have led us to Hell, but do we really know where we've wound up?

Looking back on the equipment given to me by my public schooling, I know that I was most poorly prepared in regards to the history of my own country. The critical eye, of course, was pointed elsewhere. Europe is where all of the great misdeeds and errors occurred. Meanwhile, in two hundred years, my nation was pristine and pure (apart from a few southerners who had some evil ideas about human trade).

Sure it was.

What they teach us here is indoctrination, once again telling us just what we need to know in order to love and believe them. Then, they want us to pursue higher education. Those who can afford it, or are deemed worthy, get let in on some of the dirty little secrets. Not everything, mind you. We're given just enough to allow us some sense of superiority over our fellow citizens.

We continue to be encouraged to be educated. Those who are willing to sacrifice any semblance of a real career (or who enter specific fields such as law) can continue to learn. One would think, after a while, that too much of this "free thought" would be a risk to those people in power. By that point, though, the newly educated know enough dirt to take over, and another graduating class leaves secondary education to enter the world.

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They were done for an exhibition a couple of years ago . They asked for something to so with the summer. They are mixed media and oil paint on metal advertising boards - for ice cream.

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Hey Cris, it's as busy here as it was at the end - which is to say, not at all

I wish I could new you guys was here in the beginning of 2020 LOL

OMG I was feeling nostalgic and I can’t believe that AKP is still here! So how’s it going ?

Props to Green Mamba for bringing the weirdness


80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.


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