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Grinder Submission

Posted 5 September 2002, 12.05 am by Villager

This is a user submission from uw_writer. Critique required.

_ _ _

It was seven years ago today that I made the choice that has placed my feet on the path I now walk. I am sitting now with a bottle of one hundred and ninety proof brain cell killer, ninety five percent alcohol. This stuff is strong enough to peel paint off walls, and I choose to drink it.
I'm an alcoholic. I've always enjoyed drinking, it started in college, but it didn't get this way until I started work on graduation. It wasn't right away that my problem started, it took about a year for that to get as bad as it is now. For three years now I've been drinking a bottle all by myself everyday I get back from a successful day on the job. It started out as a simple drink after work, or on my anniversary like today. But it progressively got worse, now I seem to drink all the time, every night I get drunk so I won't dream.
You see, I'm an assassin.
My job demands a certain set of moral values that include the disregard for human life. By god's will or a certain set of particular genetics, I was born with such values. I never tried to understand why I am the way I am, I just chose to capitalize on it.
The first shot burns it's way down my throat, and even after three year of hard drinking, my stomach still rebels and my mouth waters in anticipation of the shot coming back up. I don't care what my stomach has to say, I take another two shots in a row and wait for the alcohol to work it's magic.
Seven years ago today I made my decision to become an assassin, seven years ago today the world trade center buildings were destroyed by terrorists. Today is September eleventh and I'm celebrating my fourth year as a professional killer. Seven years ago today I decided that people like those terrorists needed to be deprived of their most precious commodity.
Their life.
Of course I figured the person doing the depriving should also get paid to do so. I figured I might as well be the one being paid, my morals could make me a bundle with the proper training.
I'm starting to feel light headed already from all the shots I've done. At least half the bottle is gone and I must have drank about ten shots. My arms are tingly and feel like pins and needles, but all numb and they feel so heavy. I reach for the bottle to take another shot, but the shot glass gets knocked onto the floor and shatters. Too bad, I'll just have to drink straight out of the bottle, maybe I'll finally get alcohol poisoning and die in my sleep.
I only manage a couple more gulps of the liquor before I start to drift into unconsciousness, I only hope that I won't dream tonight. I can live with the killing, it doesn't bother me at all, it's just that the nightmares won't let the people I've killed rest in peace.
And those people won't let me rest either, not for many years to come I don't believe.

Intravenous Salvation

Posted 1 September 2002, 4.03 pm by Jake

Hm. Faith.

There's been a thread started on this recently, and I began thinking about my beliefs.

I guess I can honestly admit to know the actual truth and the right way......

that I don't know what I believe in, to be quite honest.

I put a good bit of stock in the annals of science, because I think that science is (mostly) tangible truths that can be proven or disproven a lot easier than any religion.

I was born on this earth as a result of two people's reproductive systems, I believe that we all arose from the primordial soup as unicellular organisms and we evolved from there....some people slam evolution as being idealistic, saying that if species are in a constant state of improvement, that it has to have a pinnacle beyond that of humans...but hey, that's just one of my beliefs, leave me alone.

I was born without a religious inclination, was baptized as an Episcopalian, went to an Episcopal private school for roughly eight years, and then defected to public school after growing bored of the atmosphere there...I can say that DID help (to a degree) to change my perspectives on religion, and maybe one day I will become satisfied with a certain set of beliefs.

I believe that there is no true way to live, that most religions are based on people's lack of answers for many of life's questions and that it is truly impossible to live vicariously through some re-hashed prophetic nonsense that proclaims to be "the right way".

I believe that there is a sense of spirituality in nature, that there could very well be spirits that influence our daily lives, and that there could possibly even be a god/a few gods. I enjoy the nature of Eastern religions, those that speak of enlightenment and oneness, because they are interlaced with tradition and morals, as well as betterment of the self through your actions. Compared to the boorish nature of many Western religions (Catholicism, for example), these seem more inviting and rational.

I believe in morals, and doing good deeds for the sake of yourself as well as others. I like the idea of being able to sleep at night without putting my faith in a divine being to fix everything for me...going out and taking care of it myself or even getting help from friends to solve my problems is much more rewarding.

I believe that I have no clue as to what awaits us once we cross into the afterlife, I don't claim to know anything of that. Maybe Anubis is there, waiting to weigh my evil deeds against a feather...maybe there's nothing, maybe I'll be reincarnated in a different form.

As for now, I put most of my faith in the fact that I know nothing.


Posted 28 August 2002, 10.04 pm by Sickan

Arriving to this new town and just being alone without really being alone is odd. I moved away from the people who have surrounded me for so many years, good as bad. They have all been there for me and I for them – but problems tend to repeat themselves, a bit like history. At a point they had just repeated themselves too many times – I had repeated myself one too many times. They asked the same questions, claimed answers and I gladly answered in brilliant unclear terms.

So anyway now I have done what we humans need to do at times. Get away from it all, run from it all you may call it. I have been here in this strange new town for somewhat five days now, and I decided to go to a pub and feel the pulse – I am actually sitting here right now, as I write these sentences. New faces are looking at this new girl who walked in with her paper and pencil, ordered a beer and sat down and began writing. It took some convincing myself to go here before I did it. No easy thing to do after all, or apparently… but now I can do nothing but laugh of those thoughts.

The pub is called ‘Maybe not Bob’ and is quite comfy and somewhat friendly. There are a handful people here – just about 15 – 20 and they are all smiling and probably drunk as it suits you to be on a Friday night on the local pub. The walls are painted green and they are one side covered in bookshelves. The classical collection of all types and brands of beer are put up on the opposite wall. The benches and wooden tables are giving the pub an old and classic look. The only thing which are a constant source to irritation is the pressing and moist heat. But the pub nor I can do anything about that.

The crowd is now increasing and people have begun to go to my table to sit – simply because there are no other place for them to be. They try not to seem interested in that I’m doing – this is sadly too obviously.
In some way I don’t want them to interrupt my writing or would I want to contact me, because I feel happy and I rest in myself. I don’t think I have ever felt like this before – it is like I am alone perhaps lonely but still I have never felt this calm and eased before.
What I can see from this one visit to this place is the remarkable difference from the city I inhabited before and this one. People here are far more open and friendly, they seen somewhat more alive. This can be coloured by the fact that I have lived in the town for too long and have a bunch of really bad memories from that hell-hole.
Well now I will go and leave these people to their drinking. There are still books to be read and stories to tell before I begin to make new friends here. There is time enough for us all… and my time will come. That is what I discovered by being there tonight and write this for all of you. My time will come, there is no need for me to rush.


Downtime Explanation

Posted 27 August 2002, 9.36 am by Alexander

Some of you may have noticed AKpCEP has been down since Sunday afternoon GMT. I thought it only right and proper that I post something giving you some more information. I received a letter a week or so ago advising me of a server move from Manchester to London, with expected downtime of up to 8 hours.

I spoke to my hosts this morning, who offered the following by way of an explanation as to why an 8 hour server move turned into almost 2 days downtime: a config file that points the domain name at our server "had not updated", meaning that was in effect pointing at Manchester, when it should have been pointing at London. How this file failed to update and whether this was human or technical error I do not know, nor does technical support.

So, we're back in business with no other planned server work on the horizon. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise on behalf of my hosts to both the dedicated users of this site and the clients/subdomains under the domain who also have had no web presence over the Bank Holiday weekend.


Posted 24 August 2002, 5.10 pm by Alexander

I'm pleased that finally there is an online resource for this particular sub-group of today's society. For too long, this important and valid portion of society has been neglected.

Visit Site

Thanks to Grapey for the link!

A storm is brewing....

Posted 23 August 2002, 3.12 am by Jake

While perusing the shelves at the bookstore the other day, a small yet hefty book caught my eye. Written at the top in bold, yellow letters was the name "Neil Gaiman". Below it, a picture of a thunderstorm over a road, with lightning striking in the distance. At the bottom, "American Gods" was spelled out in white capital letters. I picked it up, turned it over, read the summary, and carried it with me to the cashier.

I took it home and set it on my shelf, opting instead to read another of the four texts that I had purchased. After finishing the first one (grudgingly, mind sucked) I cracked open American Gods and began to read. I didn't want to stop.

Gaiman(remember Sandman, and several other comic book series) has outdone himself on this's a road-trip tale entwined with a lot of mythology and some great cultural commentary. The characterization in this story is excellent, with most of it being direct and concise. The pacing is great, the story never really lags at any point, and the mood is accented quite nicely with excellent and descriptive imagery composed by the author.

Shadow, the main character, is (as the summary succinctly says it) "a man with a past". The beginning of the story joins up with Shadow as he sits in jail with a fellow named Low-Key Lyesmith (think Norse mythology) learning coin tricks. Shadow gets out of jail, eventually, but to his dismay his life is not exactly how he left it.
Shadow gets on a plane back to his hometown, and there he meets the charismatic and mysterious Mr.

From there, it transforms into what I mentioned before, “a road trip tale entwined with a lot of mythology and some great cultural commentary.” The amount of religious connotations in this book are pretty diverse, ranging from African tribes (Mr. Nancy) to Middle-Eastern beliefs (the djinn cabdriver). It’s a great story, and it’s even better told by Mr. Gaiman, who has a precise wit and a knack for descriptions. I’ve always been a fan of Gaiman’s writing style depicted in comic books, and he proves to be as skillful on the pages of a novel as he is on those of a comic.

All I can tell you to do now (if you care), is…….“Go buy it”.

Simple as that.

The Internet's First

Posted 21 August 2002, 11.47 am by Craig

Visit Site.


Posted 20 August 2002, 4.37 pm by Craig

Look at the fourth box down on the left hand side of this site. That is the greatest game I have ever played!! Word!

Click Here.

My high score so far is 1299... Beat that!!! Leave your high score in the comments

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This is again from the 'Faces of Death' cycle. In this piece, the mottled effect was produced by flicking turpentine at the image once it was smeared into the ink.

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Hey Cris, it's as busy here as it was at the end - which is to say, not at all

I wish I could new you guys was here in the beginning of 2020 LOL

OMG I was feeling nostalgic and I can’t believe that AKP is still here! So how’s it going ?

Props to Green Mamba for bringing the weirdness


80s candy bars were pretty good

only because i traded it for a candy bar in the 80's.


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