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Time for Farewells I

Posted 5 February 2004, 4.10 pm by Lilith

This is the first of three poems in the set, and hopefully part of the foundation for the "Seasons" cycle (that I need to work more on). Since to me, fall seems the natural place to start (has nothing to do with Jewish New Year being in the fall, actually) writing the cycle, this will most likely be the first poem not only in the set, but in the entire cycle when and if I ever complete it (well, hopefully I will).

Any criticism is welcome, here or on the forum.
____________________________________________

1.

In the morning it was autumn
Dry seeds tap-dancing across the concrete.
A tired body demanding sleep, unsated
In the short hours before sunrise.
And the lapis of the sky was perfect,
Immaculate; but the leaves
Were still vividly green—
Casual attire to be replaced
By the evening dress of fall.
And the air was sweet and just
A little too pungent,
The smell of abandoned orchards.
Yes, it was autumn in the morning,
The time for farewells.

The autumn wind came,
A lover’s touch—too tender to endure
Without tears.
It will undress the forest—
Tear away the seductive silks
Of crimson, purple and gold,
Exposing the souls of trees
The gentle mist clinging to the rolling hills.
And I will see far away,
Knowing the coming of Fall.

This morning they stand unsuspecting,
And I watch them wait
For the coming of Fall,
The time of becoming.

Unforgiven
on 6 February 2004, 10.31 pm
I'm sorry, young man, but there's a age limit here. Perhaps I could help you find your mommy?

Try not to wander away from her next time.


Lilith: not much of a fan of poetry, but it's nice. I'll admit, I was mostly posting for the above, but it'd be wrong to not comment at all on the subject...


krell
on 6 February 2004, 11.48 pm
censorship is for pussy's and try hards. if you dont want my opinion dont ask for it. as for my age, i was stabbing your mothers brown eye before you were even a glimmer in a drunk mexican's eye.


cris
on 7 February 2004, 2.51 am
Krell, censorship starts when ones opinion turns to threats. One persons freedom ends when is infringes on another's right of safty.

Lillth, Some people do aprecate poetry and the arts of all types. Nice writing, I hope to see more in the future.


Alexander
on 7 February 2004, 11.27 pm
Deleting troll comments isn't censorship. If you have a problem why don't you write to your congressman?


krell
on 8 February 2004, 3.56 am
i'd like to take a warm satisfying piss on your face alex but you're just too far away and i'm afraid my reach just isnt that good. what is a boy to do?


Alexander
on 9 February 2004, 7.34 am
You could piss on your own face? HTH


too_many_people
on 10 February 2004, 5.48 am
Nice poem. I like "it was autumn in the morning". Could I recommend you try wrapping the poem with that line? Or at least the first stanza. It's a cliched trick, I know, but I think it might be nice on this.

Also, high-five to Alex for his tireless efforts in kicking 12-year-olds asses for us.


news-
on 4 August 2004, 6.20 am


news-
on 4 August 2004, 6.22 am


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